The Umbrellas of Sefibourg

The Icon - Liv Ullmann

2010-06-12T13:17:00.006+01:00

An actress I adore and although Norwegian, is helping me improve my Svenska through fillums. Her work with Bergman is well documented and no need to say more - except my favourite film is Persona (see picture - which I also include because Bibi is a dead-ringer for my friend, April. Particularly in that picture).

Her movie - The Emigrants - is a wonderful and most underrated film and almost impossible to get a hold of these days. It is the tale of Swedish immigration to Minnesota in the 1840's and was written/directed by Jan Troell (BTW Everlasting Moments is coming out on Criterion at the end of this month!). Nick's Flick Pick sums up Liv's Oscar nominated performance here:

"Many of her close-ups are brief, wordless inserts, in which Ullmann capitalizes on her amazing knack for profound but unshowy distillation of emotion, a capacity for total expressive lucidity that has recently become the provenance of Juliette Binoche."

This encapsulates Liv's ability entirely IMO. I would also add Emily Watson has this ability and a few others (not many). Silence was also used to sinister effect in Persona - as Mrs Vogler, the mentally tormented actress. Sometimes she can be very unsympathetic onscreen too - distant and unsettling - which is also a sign of an actor of great calibre. Something the Scandinavians do best. And what of the actual lady herself - gracious, unshowy, talented, intelligent, honest, multi-talented and with a 100 watt smile. She writes and directs today too. Awesome.

I haven't seen the sequel to the movie - A New Land - which is a shame. A boxset of all three (as suggested by Nick above) is a fantastic idea.

Yes - Jennifer - you might well scream ...

2010-06-12T12:41:00.002+01:00

The classical world is everywhere in the cinema lately. Some of it is good but some of it is bad. Charlotte Stein (friend and blogger) told me she though Sam Worthington in Clash of the Titans was "like a peanut". I don't think she mean he was full of latent energy and goes well with a beer. You figure it out.

Anyways - our old friend Tarsem is making another movie called Immortals. I don't know if it's any good but Eiko Ishioka is doing the production and costume design so it is bound to be in some part pretty fucking spectacular. More here including pictures. Mickey Rourke and Stephen Dorff in the same film. How can we manage? Fnar.

Meanwhile - as a reminder - here is a spooky marvellous clip from The Cell. I don't think Jennifer was right for the part. It would have been better with another Jenny - Jason Leigh or Connelly. But this was before she made perfume and music so give her a break. And she looks pretty okay in Vlad Dracule's armour. *Some horse damage in clip - not suited for animal lovers*

All that purple satin makes me really want some Dairy Milk.

The perfect song ... for some irresponsible driving on a June weekend

2010-06-12T12:34:00.003+01:00

THIS IS THE UNCENSORED VERSION, KIDS.

Love The Cardigans and Jonas Åkerlund and the sick sense of Svenska humour.

Pearly Queen

2010-05-26T12:45:00.004+01:00

Sunday magazine favourite Pearl Lowe's new collection for Peacocks is rather charming indeed. I have a wedding to attend in July and will be perusing the collection for something to wear. Plus, they don't cost a bomb and is modeled by her daughter Daisy. As celeb offspring goes - she is one of the better ones of late. I particularly like this one.

And there is nowt wrong with Peacocks or any other store for the poor. Good stuff is everywhere - if one cares to look. Only those with a poor imagination would think so.

Gossips Gurls

2010-05-26T12:18:00.005+01:00

I have become a little bit obsessed with reading celebrity gossip columns particularly the 'Blind Items'. I don't care if they are shallow and vile - it is so much fun to guess whom is whom. Some of my favourites include ... Blind Gossip, which rounds up from other sources including 'reveals' from other sites like Buzzfoto (which has a tricksy login system that I cannot be bothered to crack - doh). Crazy Days and Nights is another good original source. Both summarised at Defamer at Gawker. Others try to solve them in a satisfactory manner too - like Blind Items Exposed. Very helpful.

And then there is Ted Casablanca at E! The Awful Truth - he is far more fun than catty Perez because he has many delicious tit-bits. He also responds to fans in a pleasing manner. The "oh there's more" picture (used as a story segway) is a hoot and make me want to know more - it's the finger aloft that does it. Okay he is a bit too obsessed with Twilight for my liking but he also like True Blood so that evens things out. Most of the 'blinds' are associated with nasty behaviour and hot closet action with repeat offenders being the most entertaining. If I am ever stuck in a lift with anyone, Ted's on my list.

I don't care about tittle-tattle about celebrity. They have no impact on my life and are about as real as Dangermouse.

Baron Greenback is wat totallyz ghey lolz

65 years of The Moomins!

2010-04-25T22:19:00.003+01:00

Tove Jansson's Moomins books rank amongst my favourite stories for children ever. This year marks the 65th Anniversary of their creation. No doubt there will be many celebrations this summer at the Moomin theme park (a place I long to visit). There is also this superb website that gives some feeling of the colour and invention associated with the stories and illustrations.

As a child, I read all the books. They created very strange images in my mind - of cold valleys and snowy lanes with unusual circular blue wooden houses. It also had a lovely peculiar streak involving magician's hats on the moon and men who ride Panthers! A precursor to the Mighty Boosh perhaps? I bet Noel Fielding is a fan. Also worth mentioning are the sinister creatures - the dark spirit of Scandinavian midwinter, The Groke and spooky electric banana people, The Hattifatteners. Also - the otherworldly deadly beauty of the Lady of the Cold (see above). Absolutely terrifying!

Speaking of which, the classic old Polska Films Jupiter version was awesome and beats all others - with perfect narration from Richard Murdoch (a little old actor who pops up in Blackadder the First!). It looks like it was done with Fuzzy Felts. I still wish I could get hold of the 'party music' from the episode in which Little My stole the Magician's ruby - a groovy version of the superly haunting theme. No other version captured the essence for me as much as this adaptation.

Is there a speaking book version I wonder? In my head I imagine the voice of Bjork for some reason (yes - she isn't Finnish or Swedish. It was probably the Human Behaviour video that did it!). I still have a classic Penguin boxset of all the books (paperback covers of Tove's own wonderful artwork), which I got in car boot sale in Ilkley for £3! Bargain!

Je suis Numero Cinq!

2010-04-01T18:34:00.004+01:00

Seeing Audrey advertising No5 recently made me think of all the great Chanel commercials of the past. No not Nicole and Xerxes from 300 with her I'M A DARNCER, I LOVE TO DARNCE complete bollocks. More rather - Carole Bouquet showing us beauty, glamour and elegance. She isn't a 14 year old painted-up to look older but a proper grown-up lady. And one with a wicked twinkle in her eye. She should work for Chanel today.

This is my favourite - directed by Ridley Scott. I just love her suit and her car! She has the kind of straight dark hair I have always coveted.

I remember this one from my youth - love the swimming pool motif!

Carole never looked more beautiful - directed by Bettina Rheims.

More commercials to follow, n'est pas. I will NOT be reminding everyone of that Shanghai movie with the worst ACKTING ever captured on celluloid. Karl - keep your day job.

Zo 'ow eeez your six live?

2010-04-01T18:03:00.005+01:00

I'm talking about The Room, y'all.

The wonderous Edinburgh Cameo Cinema screened this modern classic by the mysteriously accented "auteur" Tommy Wiseau. Is he French or American or on some kind of steroid/xanax/stroke medisun? His bizarre syntax and Euro-merican accent resembles the 'Wild and Crazeee Guys' from SNL. Or a random 'want to meet with lovely sexy Raaashun ladies for you' style MySpace spam. Okay not that bad but you get the picture. My personal theory is that he speaks that way because he is really 400 years old like Connor McLeod. Tommy is mebbe IMMORTAL *lolcatz*. He also looks like a cross between Howard Stern and Papa Lazarou with his raven locks that make Marilyn Manson look all natural and fresh-faced. And he is giving to the audience - we see him raw. Stretch marks on his biceps, moles and skin pores and dicky-eye close-ups.

And you get to see a lot of him - meaning about 20 million sex scenes. Although Tommy is shown in a 'romantic' fashion. He loves to love, as Tina Charles would say. And his picture of romance is classic. I was reminded of several Whitesnake videos. Red roses and whorish dresses and tuxedos and shots of rumbled sheets. The lady in question - although I use the term 'lady' very loosely (more like BITCH) is "Lisa" (played by equally enigmatic Juliette Danielle - she looks like the girl-woman who gave Britney Spears away for adoption when aged 14 and 9 months after the carnival left town). Or perhaps, like Dark Place's Madeleine Wool - nobody knows where she is anymore. Perhaps? Perhaps Tommy has a dark side ... we will never truly know.

Anyway - the film is just ... awesome? Dire? Hilarious? Crazy? Yes all of those. How can one film show so much? Tommy Wiseau wrote, produced and starred in this. All the other actors did something else. Juliette did most of the cast too - haw haw. The plot is very complex and hard for me to explain entirely. Please read the Wiki. Let's just say - it has many 'red herrings' and 'blind alleyways'. Perhaps they are deliberate or a symptom of the layered mind of the creator. Perhaps they are DELUDED BOLLOCKS. You decide.

And the audience have fun many times. People throw spoons when teh random photo-framed picture comes on screen (the general decor resembles that of only the *best* type of Barratt home). People shout 'cancer' whenever Lisa's mum comes on. People shout "focus/unfocus" to highlight the unusual camera work - apparently that of the handsome bearded man who plays Mark ("Johnny is my best friend"). To show the amount of randoms who just wander in for no reason, people shout "Who the fuck are you?". The word "metaphor" is uttered whenever the characters reveal the 'depth' of the turmoil they are in - biting apples, playing football, stroking fur. Much love is shown.

Therefore - the ending is shocking because we have come to love the characters so much. I highly recommend this - I went with Astrid, Mr Astrid, MrsB and a few good friends up from London. We were 'merry' so that perhaps made us enjoy things more. The house was packed. We all lolled for and hour and half. Thanks, Tommy.

SEE THIS FILM!!!1111

This picture never fails to make me smile!

2010-03-25T12:58:00.002Z

More lost photographs ... very Amelie!

2010-03-25T12:46:00.002Z

Here is another brilliant one documenting lost and found photographs! Are you on there?

Young Me Now Site - lovely!

2010-03-25T12:40:00.003Z

Thanks to Katya - I love this site. Recreating childhood photographs is a great, fun idea.

All she needs is a Lancashire accent ...

2010-03-25T12:28:00.003Z

Same hair, same wardrobe, same shape, same dancing. Yep. Basically - this is me. :)

The perfect song ... for a frosty March evening getting locked out the house for fucking hours

2010-03-04T22:28:00.006Z

Well - it happened to me cos i'm stupid. Neneh wouldn't get locked out. She cool.

EMBEDED IS DISABLED BY FASCIST CORPORATE MUSIC TWATS - good video though.

Take it easy baby!

2010-02-27T04:31:00.002Z

I always think of this classic American rock when watching my favourite film ever "Silence of the Lambs". Grey Whistle Test version.

"Hey are you okay mister?"

Kindness and heart

2010-02-27T02:58:00.005Z

People in fashion are not known for their hearts and kindness - but an exception has to be made for Natalia Vodianova. Did you see her on Jonathan Ross? Wasn't she just lovely and adorable?

Her Naked Heart Foundation has the simple plan of providing play parks for kids who usually get a big fat nowt. Not curing Aids or bringing world peace. Something far more immediate and obtainable - what is more enduring than giving some wee kids some fun on the (as my niece La Petite calls) 'ding-dings'?

And Natalia does this with grace and fondness - perhaps because she comes from a poor country and her sister who has cerebral palsy. She doesn't ask for everyone to tell her she is Queen Gorgeous. She doesn't have to - probably - because a truly beautiful women doesn't need this kind of cheap affirmation. And any family (including mine) knows what it is to cope with disablility - even the smallest act has purpose and meaning. So be thankful that in a world of the superficial, some people really think beyond.

Apparently she is doing stuff in the UK - I wonder where??

I prefer it to BERYL!!!

2010-02-27T01:35:00.003Z

If any clip informed my teenage years, it's this one ...

BLOODY BARSTARD BUGGER BUM and HOLES!!!

Whatever happened to Emily Lloyd? She was brill!

Something funny to distract from my going on about something else.

2010-02-22T22:40:00.003Z

If I don't distract myself, I'll just end up going on about how much I adore Christoph Waltz. Fortunately so does every award ceremony going so I'm not alone. They have taste.

So - MR SHOW INSTEAD. MR SHOW!!!!!1

*points*

The perfect song for ...posing in an empty swimming pool in a sparkly frock.

2010-02-21T21:31:00.001Z

Well - it is.

This is the NYEWS!

2010-01-29T20:25:00.000Z

Brooker encapsulates all news reporting 1996-2010 onwards.

Cinema pour toi/moi/vous ... I DUNNO!!!!11

2010-01-29T16:29:00.004Z

Sorry my French is crap - considering my family, I should learn to what speak it (like) better. But 2 v' interesting movies coming my/your/our way. If anyone has seen and can recommend, please do!

Firstly, Le Micmacs à Tire-Larigot from Jeunet - one of my favourite film directors ever. Dany Boon, Yolande 'Seraphine' Moreau and the crumbly face of Dominique Pinon. Here is the fun-some French trailer here.

Second movie - Gainsbourg: Vie Heroic has casting to rival any good biopic. The late Lucy Gordon makes a beautiful fresh Jane Birkin making her passing all the more sad. RIP.

Also, Chanel's Anna Mouglalis makes a wondrous Juliette Greco. And can anyone nail (haha) the laissez-faire minxy sexuality of La Bardot better than Laetitia Casta? She even speaks like her. And kudos to Eric Elmosnino for filling the enormous and daunting boots of Serge with gusto and joie de vivre. The likeness is uncanny too:

The perfect song for ... the start of the weekend with silly lyrical interpretational dancing!

2010-01-29T16:18:00.003Z

With Old Grey Whistle Test intro included cos it's a good and says stuff about Roxy and why they are teh brills. Can you think of another song that mentions Rhodedendrons? I cannot. Great Ferry hand/eye movements too. Look out for them, please.

This is my favourite song.

2010-01-16T00:09:00.003Z

See here.
Simply the best song.
Try to ignore the cover by Primal Scream.
Bobbie and Kate sound the exact same.
Rubbish.

I love Lee Hazelwood.
His voice is teh sekz and he had great charisma.
He can tell me about the dramas of Racine anyday.
I think I just like men called Lee.
Scoresby. Pace. Van Cleef.
Racine is the French word for 'root' as in tree.
Hazelwood tree.
It's all connected.

What will I see?

2010-01-04T01:01:00.003Z

Youtube stumble - the original Buck Rogers theme sequence. Clearly wanted to be like a Bond film but instead, we get sort of Pan's People style lasses doing chatline advert faces and posing on the title words lit up on the floor. Cheap yet effective if the result was to explain nothing about the show whilst simultaneously, give 70s dads a knob-on. One of them even has sexy Deirdre Barlow glasses. W00t. Say nothing of the enchanting song. Why did they leave it behind? I see where Anita Dobson got her idea for 'Anyone can fall in love'.

The second one is less funny but has a man with a comedy eagle head and there is annoying robots. I am currently experiencing unimaginable temperatures so I sympathise with Buck.

Beely beely.

Christmas Hiatus - have yourself a merry one!

2009-12-27T23:29:00.003Z

I've been busy with cherry-cheeked babies and snow and family and all that - sorry peeps. Please busy yourself with this ...

More, more, more. How do you like it?

Have a Spooky Xmas - Pt 1 "Haha - what?"

2009-12-18T17:04:00.004Z

One of my favourite (and most Christmassy childhood) TV series still stands up now. There are so many wonderful things even if the FX are dated. The theme is especially haunting:

I loved the time travel and the focus on magic and objects and anthropomorphism (making animals more human and vicer versa - to be more blunt). A battle of good and evil set at Christmas seems extra atmospheric. Robert Stevens and Patricia Quinn are over-playing like mentals but Patrick Troughton is twinkly-eyed and superb as the Punch and Judy Man. Kay's family situation is a bit odd - with all these fashionable and absent upper-middle-class parents at Christmas pawning off the kids on neighbours. Even so - it's great. Where else do you hear the term - "Mariahhhh's been squabbled!"

Incidently - I always wondered what it would be like if the BBC in the 80s had done a adaptations for some of my favourite children's novels - proto-Potter magical writing. Namely Alan Garner's The Weirdstone of Brisingamen and maybe Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising sequence. All seem ripe for adaptation and contain the right mix of chill and fantastical for the modern reader. Apparently - Box of Delights is being remade. Huh. My favourite actress ever - Miranda Richardson was born to play Sylvia Daisy Pouncer but who will be Abner Brown?

Also - I found a few of the Cooper books (original Penguin 1970s issue) in a charity shop recently. They match my also original Penguin Garner issues - complete with groovy illustrated cover. Bargain at 25p each!

The future's looking colourful ...

2009-12-18T16:21:00.001Z

A great live performance of my favourite song by B&S (from the Jonathan David EP). It's good for taking stock of the year too ...

Political Swearing in Real Life!

2009-12-15T11:13:00.002Z

Ireland's answer to Jamie MacDonald. Love it!

MAC it up!

2009-12-15T10:40:00.004Z

I love it that Gaga and Cyndi are the new faces of Viva Glam. An excellent duo. And an excellent cause too. Not sure the quality of the product but Eliza mah gurl may enlighten us! I am a make-up spaz.

I also like to read HuffPo occassionally - the comments remind me I AM NOT A CRAZY PERSON. Thanks for that, everyone.

Kids in the Hall return and basically do a League of Gentleman style show but set in Canada

2009-12-11T10:46:00.003Z

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love a) Kids in the Hall and b) The League of Gentlemen. So when I saw this trailer complete with visual shop window joke - I did a *squee*.

Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town - watch more funny videos

I always wanted KITH to do something like this. And now they have. Hooray. Proof if need be that if you close-eyes-fingers-crossed wish very hard enough - when that falling star is directly above your head - ye Gods of old awaken and grant your wish. I imagined it (somehow) to be more moody and Twin Peaks like - but sunny and funny, like the classic location-filmed sketches of the CTV series is probably more in keeping with KITH vibe.

Fortuny's Delphos Robe

2009-12-10T13:05:00.007Z

I just saw a picture of the fragant lovely Natalia Vodianova at an awards ceremony in what - possibly - looks like a blue gown by or inspired by the Venetian-based designer, Mario Fortuny. She certainly wore a delightful pink one for the Met Ball although someone stood on it! Ole Nat would look good in everything though and is dead rich, like. *envy*

Anyway - I have always wanted to purchase a Delphos robe for various reasons. They are so rich and rare and fashionable - the secret behind the making of the pleats is a subject of much discussion amongst fashion and cloth making historians. Fortuny was interested in cloth and textile production from Asia - he tried to reproduce techniques in his own work too. Those Edwardians just love their Orientalism. Also, it is astounding that some are over 100 years old. When you see contemporary Edwardian costume at the time of Fortuny - you see how stuffy and layers and Merchant Ivory it all seems.

The Delphos robe was based on Cycladic art and sought to 'free' women from the constructed costumes of the day. No wonder Isadora Duncan loves them too. One can certainly see the historical influence when observing classic Grecian peplos garments. My archaeology interests include classic textiles research and I am very interested in costume reconstruction. My illustration project in grad school was based on a bright blue Iron Age skirt and blouse (complete with tartan tabby edging) from Lønne Hede in Denmark (picture of modern version here). Probably why I like Fortuny's work so much!

LINKIES! A great French site here. You can also buy your own version here (at the superb Vintage Textile).

THIS IS PAUL SMITH! - The Thick of It episode 7

2009-12-09T09:52:00.001Z

This is part one of a two parter. Holy Loving Mother of Bubblewrap. Tense and funny and everything you want from tellybox. When that phrase (you know the one if you saw it) came up on BBC 24 behind Malcolm, I think all viewers gasped. In short - a brilliant superb episode. And now we have to see how our band of hapless spin-chimps do battle with the polyester, comb-over, airkissing monster that is Steve Fleming aka "Peter Bowles" (hehe). Will they cope? He is the Cathy Carter-Smith to Malcolm's Pauline. So how do you one-up a Tucker? Make the new guy both utterly boring and a complete mental.

Malcolm maybe be the most infuritating and delicious bully in comedy but he is always lucid and always charming - and you oddly respect him for it. Fleming is just plain weird. I and other viewers I know were like Nicola (who underplayed this time but did so perfectly) - we didn't know what to make of it all and the 'ding dong the witch is dead' celebrations by Ollie and Co had an aftertaste too. Rebecca's face when Tucker spoke about "not getting it up" (oh stop it) summed that sentiment up nicely. Bafta for Ms Front, please.

Seeing Tucker actually vulnerable was moving too - especially when he was protecting the tearful Sam from the circling vultures around her desk. Also the awkward trying to be normal in a 'relaxing' dad-jumper of amusingness and talking about ghee like he entertained all the time. Nobody bought it - least of all him. The plot also showed a welcome return from Alex 'Nibbles' McQueen. Huzzah. Sir Julius (as he now is), more than anyone, would be the person to stick the knife in. Perfect development.

How this will progress? I HAVE NO IDEA. Needless to say Malc isnae carrion just yet. You may as well try to murder Rasputin - again and again. I cannot fucking wait till next Saturday. Like James Bond, he'll be BACK ...!

The Thick of It Episode 6 - Curly Wurly

2009-12-07T16:50:00.008Z

Tense picture aside (oh the shipping and the burning eyes) I thought I reviews this but I hadn't. Ach. My mistake. Great episode - particularly blinky Ben with his usual odd sleaze comment of gold. The cocaine, prozzers and Bjorn Borg remark from specials is one of my favs of all time. He turns up with more.

Anyhoo, back at the ranch - DoSac does something about this 4th sector Pathfinders but gets it mixed up and there is something female PM on the BBC and something something. Basically, Nicola says something daft, again. Old favourite Ben Swain turns up and gets so hungry, he eats chocolate from a secret stash he left in a cabinet. Many great one liners within - some about gay undertakers doing your make-up and some about finding out you dad is gay. Although not all was gay based. Terri wears toothpaste trainers and calls Malcolm a Catherine Wheel. Ollie and Glenn look like they are about to shit Mars Bars when he takes her aside to talk but all he does is rant about his head being like a crisp packet.

Then Ben (who HATES Nicola) makes a speech but is so rubbish that Nicola, despite protestations from Tucker, goes on to make it even more rubbishly. In the end - they all have pizza. Am I making sense? This sounds like mad shit and it kind of was in a way. Like the episodes of any Star Trek series (take your pick) when aliens/mind waves/wormholes/errand spores/all of the above infiltrate the ship and make everyone act mental so they get-off with each other etc. Okay - maybe not. Told you I spoke like Phil at times.

Tangentally - remember that bit at the end of Eurotrash when they would pick up one word and have the wee Rapido frog say it. I feel very much the same about how Peter Capaldi says the word 'curly wurly'. Hmmm.

Shanghai Surprise

2009-12-07T15:44:00.006Z

The terrible acting in his films aside (laugh or wince - you decide) - I am really loving the new Chanel-Shanghai collection as described by Hilary here. The previous Paris-Moscow was lovely too but kokoshniks aren't particularly wearable. Gold sparkly tights and fur cuffs - yes, they crossed over to the mainstream and looked most fetching. Same with military still brooches and pins on long wool coats. In this collection, I very much like shiny red boots, the green wool suits and circle motif. Say what you like about Karl, he still pulls out the right stops with the clothes. Film dialogue and acting - less so and more reminiscent of Madonna in the movie mentioned above. Meaning - shit!

I imagine Coco's love of fancy buttons would be considered most bourgeoise and suspect by any classic Maoist. And a long march to the country with no actual food is a good way to get fashion-thin, perhaps. But Madame was most adept at getting herself out of tricky uncomfortable situations no matter what regime was in charge so maybe she would have done okay in Shanghai after all.

I'd get more political on my true thoughts about the pernicious policy of certain one-party governments blah-blah-meh-nuh-blah-whatevers - this isn't the topic to do it. Instead, look at a picture of a pretty lady wiv' a pretty red bag. Knock-offs to be expected. God bless the workers.

Good News and Bad News for Fashion

2009-12-02T12:40:00.005Z

A) Sonia Rykiel pour H&M is launched on the 5th of December. All in all, the stuff i've seen looks gorgeous. Some very Bettie Paige style pieces too and the pink satin affairs remind me of the classic Gaultier parfum bottle. The crazy launch party had Lily Cole in her smalls, holding the reins of a giant horsehead like some kind of lingerie Boudicca. Other wonderful spectacles include a replica Eiffel Tower in blue lights, swings and a massive chandelier. All the models appear to be sporting 'doos like Rocky Horror's Magenta, of which I approve. Not unlike the awesome La Rykiel herself (pictured). I will be looking forward to checking out the collection for sure. Dads everywhere will be delighted to Christmas shop with the missus, whilst staring at the delightful Lara Stone in her kecks. Both her and Lily promise good things on offer for us ladies with cup sizes bigger than 'egg'.

B) Unfortunately, fashion recession has lost another great name to financial ruin - Christian LaCroix. Where will Edina get her clothes now? Sad loss.

Worst Episode

2009-12-02T00:34:00.006Z

The last episode of Spooks was the worst I've ever seen. I think it was the two writers John Gibson (Webb) and Andrew Turner (Mitchell) who write about stuff they know nothing about. But less funny. Worst thing of all were the dreadful 'American' accents. If this shows on BBC America - we should all be ashamed. And the ending sucked.

sleeps

2009-12-01T14:05:00.004Z

I went to London at the weekend and now I just want to sleep. But this was well worth the visit - Wellcome Collection. Where else can you see various skulls, flying Roman knob-ends and all kinds of curiosities. I also went to the Museum of London to look at old fings. The Iron Age and Roman stuff was impressive as was the Medieval record. I think I left my germs all over the glass cabinet that contained the Battersea Shield. It's a very impressive beast!

So yeah - damp it was but mostly great. But now - WANT TO SLEEP!

The Perfect Song for Rocking in the Office (alone!) Part 2

2009-11-26T09:38:00.003Z

More rocking ... from la Belle Quebecoise, MADM.

Who says women can't rock the bass? Someone. I forget who.

The Perfect Song for Rocking in the Office (alone!) Part 1

2009-11-26T09:37:00.001Z

PIXIES RETURN!

And does Kim actually have a pixie crop? Fabulous.

Vintage Ahoy!

2009-11-25T12:49:00.006Z

I've only just discovered that there is a whole WORLD of vintage blogging on the electric highway. Yes - I am slow. In the spirit of such sharing, I outline my favourite local vintage shops and charity shops in the 'Burgh. Some of them outlined in The List - Scotland's own version of Time Out.

1) Armstrongs - famous and renowned. I prefer the one on the Southside as it is a bit further out the way. You can still find some gems as it is well organised. The bigger store is in the Grassmarket (as are a lot of shops!).

2) Barnados Vintage (116 West Bow, 0131 225 4751) - another Grassmarket place that creams the crop of charity donations and puts them all together for your benefit. Great for scarves (somewhat pricey because they are original vintage) and one-off dresses that you would find on Margot Leadbetter. And for a very worthy charity too!

3) The Rusty Zip (14 Teviot Place 0131 226 4634‎) - Smaller than Armstrongs but a great selection particularly cashmere sweaters in a hue of colours including periwinkle pussycat! Tuesday would love it!

4) Herman Brown (151 West Port, 0131 228 2589) - classic pieces abound here. And they always seem to have the most gorgeous vintage gowns hung up on the wall. Knowledgeable staff and well-set-out too. Down the way is Cabaret - a nick nack store with some lovely beads and brooches on offer.

5) Godiva (9 West Port, 0131 221 9212) - they do custom items, newer stuff and vintage too. Reasonably priced selection of excellent scarves. Plus they have a scraps box full of bits you can take home and use for your own designs (lucky bag £1 i think!)

6) Elaine’s Vintage Clothing (55 St Stephen's St 0131 225 5783) - limited opening hours but full of treasures to please even the most hardened Vintage-phile. Article from The Skinny here.

7) Iconic (23 Grassmarket) - a fabulous shop with some groovy costume jewellery and lots of other things besides, including a wee dog who guards the door sometimes. Both Iconic and Godiva will be at this Christmas Funk Fair too.

There are loads more - charity shops mainly - but I don't want to give up my secrets too readily. Like the place were I got a Tods bag for £7! Anyone else with suggestions - very welcome.

Are you ready, then?

2009-11-23T16:02:00.004Z

Two great songs from Scottish bands too. First, from the mid-80s - there is Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. The song is taken from their Rattlesnakes album - Are you ready to be heartbroken? A delightful song that brings to mind the leather jackets, denim and guitar of bands of that era (Aztec Camera, Prefab Sprout). Proto-twee if you like.

And in response - one of my favourite bands, Camera Obscura.

Sorry about the puffin - The Thick of It episode 5

2009-11-23T10:55:00.006Z

The puffin in question being poor old Phil. He clearly loves Emma very much and she thinks he is a tit. She is right. He is just that - a big Tory tit. Bless. First, Tucker makes him wee his kecks and the Olly throws coffee on his balls. Sometimes I worry about how much I reference the nerd canon in real life - but Phil is always one step ahead of me. I worry no more.

Anyway - this weeks episode involved many of the cast in tiny rooms. I worried it might get a bit Are you Being Served? - say - if Colonel Peacock, Miss Brahms, Mrs Slocombe and Mr Humphries all got trapped in a soundbooth at the BBC. And then Mannion makes reference to a Ray Cooney farce - precisely the kind of cultural tag he would make. That and "Boo to Nanny!". Awesome. Nobody watches Jools Holland.

The Thick of It continues to be the cleverest and funniest comedy on TV. Malcolm eating cunt cake (oh stop it you), pulling that face (the famous bread-earning reaction shot mentioned by Peter on the previous series commentary) and talking about anal beads made my November. Also, Nicola's despair when she realises that the words she is thinking are coming out of her mouth and it's a hideous nightmare ... Charles Bronson. Charles Dance. Female circumcision. What is she saying??!!!111 Other highlights - Terri getting in everyone's way (loved the Misery reference), "fuck off Bagpuss", Olly once again boasting about his *ahem* skills, Emma's face when he does it and most everything else. Terri's face observing them. Glenn rolling his eyes at Terri. And the beat goes on ...

However, nothing could compare with the pure unadulterated ev0l that is Stewart versus Malcolm face-off. Both have minds full of horrid secrets, stored away all neatly like that dude from Dreamcatcher - a horrific and perverted database of shame. I haven't seen Capaldi's headvein throb so dangerously since Gandolfini called him a squirter. They are perfect for each other - Stewart could fill the Jamie shaped hole. Homoeroticism eat your heart out (lol@me).

"What is this? A Bukkake At Bedtime?"

Camera Obscura

2009-11-21T23:17:00.006Z

I've been looking into the fascinating world of early photography - namely, daguerreotypes and the work Julia Margaret Cameron. As for the former, the American Library of Congress has some wonderful archives to browse here. You see some very interesting faces and fashions. I was reminded of this subject seeing the family portrait featured in True Blood, which was a very authentic recreation of a daguerreotype. The whole flashback sequence to Bill's Civil War past was spectacular too.

During this era, Julia Margaret Cameron, the pioneering Victorian photographer was working in her small studio. Because photography was such a new technology, Cameron was able to use her wealth and priviledge despite the various restrictions on women at the time. Also, Julia was considered the 'plain sister' in a family of beauties. Ironic that she is the one remember by posterity and not the prettier siblings. Her favourite subject was her niece, Julia Jackson who was the mother of Virginia Woolf. You can definately see the resemblance as Virginia's mother shared her same striking, classical Grecian features. JMC only took up photography at the age of 48 - one is never too old, I guess.

She recorded various subjects including Darwin, Tennyson, Carlyle and Carroll's Alice Liddell as well as family, friends and servants. This picture of Sri Lankan locals is very atmospheric - she was born in India and spent time in Ceylon during later life. There isn't a stilted pose amongst them and her work is fresh as a daisy 150 years later. Contemporary artist movements like the Pre-Raphaelites can be seen in the the fondness for classic mythology. She was clearly ahead of her time and her influence can be seen in the work of people like Paolo Roversi, one of my favourite modern photographers. The photography museum at Dimbola on the Isle of Wight is devoted to her work. I would love to visit. Other examples of her work are in the George Eastman Collection and at the SSPL archive.

As JMC was born during the Napoleonic Wars, I find it remarkable that we can still see the faces she recorded. Shows us that fashions may change and hairstyles but interesting and compelling faces have a timeless quality - a subject I find fascinating. The picture is her famous "I Wait" - not the best quality I can find but my favourite.

Icon 1 - The Girl of the Seventies

2009-11-20T13:31:00.010Z

The Icon (first of series from me) I wish to applaud is Marisa Berenson. Underrated as an actress - her performance in Barry Lyndon (a favourite film of mine) was described as vacuous by various cruel critics at the time, which I think is very unfair. She captures perfectly the aristocratic reserve so much admired at the time. This froideur is very much lacking in modern adaptations of period costume dramas where the heroine must express emotion at all times through facial expressions. Sometimes, annoyingly so - see the recent BBC adaptation of Emma.

In contrast, Marisa looks like she stepped out of a Gainsborough painting with her pale skin, long nose and expressive eyes. She is far more convincing than Ryan O'Neal with his California tan, whom I found miscast as Barry - although he has his moments too (see this famous and beautiful scene). Considering the pool of actors available to Kubrick at the time, O'Neal seemed an odd choice. And his accent is ropey. But I digress. Marisa's accent is, however, flawless in a subtle way that Gwyneth Paltrow never achieves - despite her many accolades.

There was a lot to dislike about Marisa - or enough to inspire some form of envy in the onlooker. She was the It girl and attended every party in something fabulous. YSL called her "the girl of the Seventies". Her impeccable and interesting heritage alone (as Elsa Schiaparelli's granddaughter as well as several other interesting forebearers) was enough to interest high society. On top of that, she was hugely successful as a model and her look would not be amiss on a cover today. Marisa was a pioneer of unconventional beauty as was Penelope Tree and Twiggy. They were antidote to the legion of dull, dollfaced models of the time.

Also, her coolness was done in a very nonchalant way. There is the famous Vogue (I think) photograph by her sister, the inspirational photographer Berry Berenson (and tragically, 9/11 victim), with Marisa in Harlem wearing a Pucci minidress and looking very lithe, tanned and laissez-faire as always. It captures her essence splendidly - I wish I could find it online. Also, witness the 1970 Vogue cover which sums up how lovely it must be to be rich and interesting and young. There was also the element of space-cadet (she called her daughter Starlite, which considering baby names today, is a rather guileless choice) as was mandatory for Seventies actresses.

I haven't seen much of Marisa lately. Regardless of whether she succumbed to the knife ('not the band haha) like so many of her peers, Marisa has natural chic even in her sixties. Most modern actresses (with their stylists on hand 24/7) can only dream about such style. Also, she also does a lot for charity, which I cannot knock. Overall - she seemed very modern and I wish she would have made more movies during her heyday. Although she did take time-out to be on the Muppets. What other Seventies supermodel can say that?

30 years of BILLY!!!

2009-11-19T08:55:00.008Z

No - not Billy Boyd or King Billy (with his orange lily) or a Billy Goat. No - apparently the Billy bookcase is 30. Everyone knows a Billy. Or has encountered a Billy. Some of us own one. Most people in rented accommodation, that is. They are both fetching and convienient. They store a lot of items and are easy to place in a room. I salute the Billy and it's creator, Mr Lundgren.

Although I'd like a goat too. There are too many things i'd like and this is one of them. Keeping on topic - some goats have a hard time in Sweden. But also they seem a popular and fond motif for Christmas in Scandinavia. The picture is of Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr - the magic goats who pulled the cart of Thor. When you think of the God of Thunder, you imagine something less hilarious than a goat-cart. See look - there is his little hammer too. Awww. Death metal never makes him seem so homely and sweet.

And thusly - 2 topics are drawn to a close in a pleasing dovetail.

Oh and ... Scandinavian things

2009-11-18T23:37:00.011Z

Also - I am now into all things Scandic ever since I realise Stein was right. Alexander Skarsgård is the most beautiful man alive. He is prettier than all of us put together. By 'all' I mean - people in the world. Us. Even the little circle above the a in his name is pretty. I don't know what it represents. A belly button? As Claudia Winkleman said about Jon Snow - by the bins anytime. By the bins, perhaps some euphemism - I wouldn't put it past Our Winkles. She filthy and awesome and she understands. Hence she can be in my gang anyday.

Askars is as if someone, God or St Jebus or maybe - I dunno - Buddha, took some Renaissance portrayal of St Michael and morphed it with all of the finer qualities of Dolph Lundgren. It that wasn't enough - St Jebus then put him on a TV show as a sexy vampire in leather pants; being all sarky and winky. I think this is the kind of thing that Anne Rice had in mind when she created Lestat. The fact they got Tom Cruise to play him is just ... well ... embarrassing.

Apparently Xand likes smart and funny "girls". Yeah - he likes "girls". Stop laughing. He like who he wants. I had to edit this post in the light of greater information about the quote-girls-quote. In fact - I actually hope he is as the rumours say because it makes him more interesting.

However - I know come to accept that actors are just hugely disappointing in real life. You imagine all these things about them - yet, being actors, they just prefer things such as "talking about myself" and "coke". Or "cock".

Or all of those things. They are just hired hands who speak other people's words. The shelf life is that of a Mayfly. I am not surprised.

The perfect song to survey the remains of your house, destroyed in hideous gale force winds ...

2009-11-18T23:23:00.007Z

EDIT- HAD TO REMOVE THIS VIDEO. EMBEDING DISABLED BUT IT WAS THE KNIFE'S VIDEO FOR MARBLEHOUSE - BOOOOO YOUTUBE! *raspberry*

I love The Knife. I love(d) that video. This is their website. You should love them too. I wish I had a little brother so we could start a lovely-eerie electro band like Karin & Olof. Or any band - heck, even like Richard and Karen. I will have to kidnap, say Elijah Wood (we could be siblings) or that weird kid from Let the Right One In, and force him to be my Scandic-Electro-Band brother. He will wear one of those neckrings like Cordelia did in Pylea. I may even call him 'cow'.

Polish the synthesiser, cow!

This means nothing to anyone who doesn't like electro or Angel. I need a little brother. Suggestions please.

The perfect song to listen to before the arrival of HIDEOUS GALE FORCE WINDS ...

2009-11-18T23:09:00.003Z

We might not survive. Apparently.

Not very exciting visually but great recording from 1977 of one of my favourite Blondie songs.

One for the packaging perfume junkies!

2009-11-18T12:58:00.007Z

The coolest perfumes on the block - some recommendations:

Juliette Has A Gun! Sounds like a Tarantino film and the whole thing is Quentin-esque for sure. Except from feodora wearing Nina Ricci's great-grandson, Romano. One fragrance, Lady Vengeance - takes it's name from the famous Korean revenge movie. Available at Selfridges and online.

Also, Wode by Boudicca - erroneous spelling aside, it was named after woad; the plant used to create a bright blue dye (possibly with coagulant agent) used by Iron Age Britons (onselves for decoration/battle and in textiles). Groovy packaging and intriguing website indeed - the spray resembles paint cans AND goes on in a blue colour (which apparently disappears to clear later). Expensive but also, something for a someone who likes teh weird.

There is also Si Lolita by Lolita Lempicka. The signature scent is a favourite of mine and I wear it all the time. LL is very popular in France but not here, oddly. I chose it because the packing and also, it was recommended in Le Monde this weekend (along with the Prada Ambree and Parisienne fragrances I chose earlier). I guess I have a profile after all!

THINGS TO BUY!!!!!! (and minor praise of Ms Lopez)

2009-11-18T11:55:00.006Z

BUY THINGS!!!

a) Coolio Vera Bradley Owl Bag for £20 odd.

b) Anne Klein winter wool coat with nice buttons and collar.

c) Or this awesome Miss Sixty pleated red coat with buttons.

d) Or for the larger lady, J-Lo made a similar coat to the above two - just for you!

e) The perfect LBD from Calvin Klein no less.

f) BCB heels in a nice lapis colour.

g) This amazing boots not unlike those worn by River in Serenity. I want.

h) Marc Jacobs sunglasses with lovely grey frames.

ALL FOR MUCH CHEAPNESS!!!

I like J-Lo . Sad that she doesn't make clothes anymore. Took me a while but I like her now. She is more grounded and nice in real life than a lot of slebs apparently (I heard from an insider who met her). The fact she makes plus size clothes in her range (nobody else does) is a good thing. I am a tiny wee person but not at all boyish. I understand from friends that plus-size is a limited option.

I'm broke so someone buy something.

True Blood - prologue

2009-11-16T16:41:00.006Z

I have recently started watching properly and it is really good but I think I'll like it more when they focus less on the OVERWHELMING LOVE of Buffy and Angel - er, sorry, Sookie and Bill. And this includes close-up shots of their twitterpated faces. I don't see the fuss mostly about pouty whatsherface. She looks better as a brunette. Blonde makes her eyes look all pokey-wee. It suits the character though. Anyway - I digress.

Still - the show is promising and I'm coming round to it. The cast is decent and aside one or two stock characters, a nice range of figures to work with. HBO shows tend to cast on ability rather than look. Amen to that! And interesting strong premise has lots of dramatic scope too. Alan Ball has a great track record too. The sexy sex makes a nice adult-orientated antidote to the teen-focused handholdy in Twilight.

Although I have to say the accents seem pretty OTT and cheesy and some are rather unconvincing even to me. Apparently, the actor playing Jason is the best(and remarkably Australian) aside Sam at the bar (who is from Louisiana) but the rest of the cast seem a tad dodgy. Hehe. I have a friend from that part of the world so I'll ask her.

I suppose you forget after a while what with the plot and that. I hope Anna manages better than the "Scottish" from The Piano. Being a kid is NO EXCUSE. :)

The Thick of It - Episodes 3 and 4

2009-11-16T10:14:00.008Z

More reviews - the show is getting better and better and better and better ... heaven for me, truly.

Episode 3 - This was ON FIRE and so much fun. Punch-ups, tuxedo smex, Nicola killing cushions, Miles Jupp, fat fucking bloggers, twitterleaks, "I fucking am Josh", the banter, Tortoise Sal fucking off Malcolm, tiny kettles, mashed Dalmatian head, Glenn snogging (on the red button - I did a huh?), Terry in disguise, chips, Metric martyrs. Fun fun.

Episode 4 - The opposition are back! Huzzah. Malcolm making Phil pee his pants and Ollie laughing through the door was fried gold comedy genius. Terri's crush and cringe making attempts at flirting with Peter again - funny. The Mannion masks. The Matrix bollocks thing. Also, Nicola under very real stress was funny but also, strangely touching and real. As were Malcolm's attempts to be not a complete bastard. I like their interaction. Maybe they will fall in love one day hehe (see footnote α) .

Can it get better? Will I have to keep on gushing? The bench mark is now extraordinarly high. Apparently Julius 'Blue Sky' Nicolson will be coming along and he sweetens the 'no Jamie' for me. I'd love to see him in a scene trying to out-wank (β) Stuart the Tory PR dude with the most pointless buzzwords ever. That would be like the Rumble in the Jungle of pretentious wankers.

I'm glad to see the BBC have slightly jazzed-up the website - or they put actual links on it. Only slightly jazzed up. Before it was kind of embarassing that a potential multi-Bafta winning show looked like something marked down in a sale whilst the dross on BBC3 gets all kind of SUPER EXCITING JAVASCRIPT GRAPHICS!

α - (I just got a telegraph in from High Command - it says "STOP SHIPPING IMMEDIATELY STOP" and we aren't talking about Maersk in the Persian Gulf - ooopsy!).

β - metaphorically!!!

Tag bangle!

2009-11-16T09:44:00.005Z

My good friend Miss Eliza - the Sibyl of Facepainting and all things cosmetic - tagged me so I guess I tag her back. That's what bloggerers do, right? I have to include a song that makes me happy! This is the song ...

Start Wearing Purple

GOGOL BORDELLO | MySpace Video

Have I done it right? Other people I tag are Basil Exposition, previously mentioned Gypsy Creams, Queens of Naughty things Justine and my scrumptious actual real life pal, Miss Stein (basically, the people what do come here). People I have somehow stumbled drunkenly into their blogs looking for the toilets from Twitter and mumbling something change for the bus are - the delightful observations of Why Miss Jones and one stop shop for actor updates - Spiffy Jellybean.

There are few other blogs I've found by accident but should I mention them - is that the done thing? Do we have to be more formal? What if person is *gasp* famous. Then I turn into Audra from Dollhouse. I'll even fake an Australian accent. ZOMG u r like orsum *squee*.

Sometimes I make myself sick.

In Love and Waugh (haha)

2009-11-15T17:59:00.003Z

I'm reading Decline and Fall again. Evelyn Waugh is one of the most clever, skilled and entertaining writers in the English language. He is also fucking funny in a varied fashion - quips, absurdities, waspish observations. He might even be my favourite writer ... might. Next I plan to read all the Sword of Honour trilogy. Evelyn and PG Wodehouse and maybe, Dorothy L. Sayers are my only insights into that world/time.

Teenage kicks

2009-11-14T03:49:00.007Z

When I was 17, I used to skip college and stay at my mates and/or go to Manchester and watch Tarantino and Leone and Cronenberg and Besson and Burton movies at the Cornerhouse. Or Vic and Bob or The Day Today and various British comedy classics. I would watch The Wicker Man and Don't Look Now and Bram Stoker's Dracula and Dangerous Liaisons on a loop. Such are the pleasures of teh herb.

And we did BoHo before Sienna - in fact, Vanessa Paradis was our idol. She was before everyone else. And Courtney Love and Kat Bjelland and Kathleen Hanna and Donita Sparkes and the Deal sisters and Kim Gordon and (Our) Kate Moss. We loved Brigitte Bardot and Melina Mercouri and Soledad Miranda and Miranda Richardson and Morwenna Banks. Kids laffed at us for wearing chokers, velvet jackets and flares but we didn't care. This is why I never got any proper edukashun to Oxbridge as per all the previous test predicted - as they wanted working class kids to dream of spires and that. Being 17 is different. I loved being 17. It was fucking awesome.

The point is I used to own THE perfect pair of biker boots - black, mid calf length with metallic panels on the front. I got them somewhere in Liverpool - I forget where. Comfy as fuck. If the Lord Jebus is watching, I want these boots to revisit me. I want another pair, thanks.

Then me and Vicky will secretly get the coach to London and end up in Electric Ballroom and not tell our mums and we will scan some vodka round Finsbury Park and talk about Robert Smith under the trees, lying on the grass ... haha. Hee hee. Maybe if I move to London, we will do this again!

Maybe just the boots then. If you see a pair.

Friday the 13th - spook it up!

2009-11-13T10:39:00.012Z

Friday the 13th - ooooooooo. Are you frightened? REALLY???

I don't believe in superstitions or the paranormal or aliens - or rather, nothing I have seen in life makes me believe in all that bollocks. I saw strange UFO lights as a kid all the time when on holiday around Ilkley Moor but this is no doubt associated with RAF Menwith Hill and all the hush hush super spy stuff they get up to there. Different kind of spook.

I also saw a man 'disappear' at a hotel in Galloway as a kid but I think I may have dreamt it. One of the side effects of Narcolepsy is REM dream sleep/waking up overlap called Hypnagogic Hallucinations. My sister and her ex-boyfriend had an 'invisible man' complete with footsteps push past them once near Stockbridge Library, which was weird. No explanations for that one. I would like to visit the vampire's grave in Dent though. Out of curiosity.

Plus, it is very much a cultural thing. I have known Italians who won't wear purple because it is bad luck (tell that to Gogol Bordello). And I know Israelis who think the Scottish obsession with ghosts and hauntings is very odd and puzzling. Apparently, the supernatural takes second fiddle to very real daily horrors and recent history there. No explanation needed.

So I am very much the Scully and not the Mulder. Heck - to some I even look like her. People who charge money to talk to 'the dead' are awful. Derren Brown proves them wrong and how easy it is to fake things. Preying upon the grieving is despicable. Also, I find people going on about what they believe and don't believe and why you should agree etc etc to be so very tedious and smug indeed. People will believe what they want and I am all for freedom of thought. It's not about being judgemental either. Somefings are what good and somefings are what bad but as to my own beliefs on the universe - I keep my own council because nobody cares what I think. It's really not important anyway. Mostly - I just don't know anything.

Yet in terms of literature, I am the opposite. I like spooky and daft things and stories. Always have and always will. I like imagination than anything else. So I have found a picture of a very rubbish pretend ghost that was in The Hamlyn Book of Ghosts in Fact and Fiction - one of my favourites when young. It also had plenty of groovy and gruesome seventies pictures. Anne Boleyn with her head on her knee! A ghostly rabbit! Phantom black dogs! Borley Rectory! I still have a copy at home. Are you frightened? ARE YOU?

Another seventies classic was The Usborne Book of Ghosts & Hauntings. I was reminded of this by the commentary by 2/3 of the League of Gentlemen on Blood On Satan's Claw in Anchor Bay's Tigon boxset. Firstly, brilliant brilliant commentary but then again, few compare in this regard. Secondly, they speak about this book! Reece Shearsmith in particular recounts Gef the Talking Mongoose from the Isle of Man (he gets it wrong and calls it a weasel or something) but I also recall the "put some ointment on the wound!" comment. Also, the book had a map of Pluckley village's "hauntings" and a picture of a Black Shuck and all about vampires in the Borders and the devil walking in the snow and all kinds of things spooky! I would love a copy.

And lastly - the books of Colin and Janet Bord were very captivating because they were told as 'fact' (which, obviously, none of them are) and contained tons of great information and photos and stuff. Charred feet of the spontaneous combustion cases. Poltergeists with a sense of humour. One time, I was on a train reading about tall aliens in Shotton and wondering "Where is Shotton" and turned my head and saw we were in Shotton station! ZOMG and De-duh-derrrrrr! Sir Simon Milligan would like that mini ev0l!

The two things I really thought were interesting (introduced by the Bords) were time slips and mysterious unexplained deaths. This is more from a writers perspective than anything else. Apparently, time slips happen all the time (haha) in Liverpool. Would explain a lot if Scouseland was on a rift in time and space. Or a hellmouth! Can't think of a more perfect place in all the world. I was born in teh 'Pool. I'm allowed to say that!

More Moss!

2009-11-12T15:07:00.003Z

So far - not been that impressed by Our Kate's perfumes but I like this because it uses one of Chopin's nocturnes and looks right swanky, like.

A reasonable article here - a little sycophantic but that's what happens when Miss Moss deigns to talk to a journo. They get all gooey.

I like old perfume bottles too. There is a brilliant museum devoted to such in La Rochelle called Musée du Flacon À Parfum in Rue du Temple. I would like to see it again but my sis live in France no more. Worth a look, anyhoo.

Heaven Scent!

2009-11-12T13:29:00.007Z

This is one for Eliza? I dunno. I need a new perfume. So far I like

1) Parisienne by YSL - generally, I like all YSL perfumes especially Paris (including the variation ones, more on it from Perfume Shrine here). And the new advert has Our Kate writing around in a limo and sniffing roses. Blackberry and sandalwood are right up my alley, Sally.

2) L'Eau Ambree by Prada - again, with the general liking of teh scents. I have the original Prada and still like it even if it is imprisoned inside the bottle (like a witch) due to broken pipes. Admittedly, the sleek obsidian black and gold packaging caught my eye. Funny how I like perfumes with similar packaging colours - blacks, golds and pinks. Maybe they correspond to a chart of smells I find pleasing.

3) Marc Jacob's Splash (various) - all the colours of the rainbow and many lovely fresh natural titles like Ivy, Gardenia, Pear, Sorbet. But which to pick? Too much choice.

4) Mark Jacob's Daisy Black Edition - ahhhh. More Marc. More black and gold. Pity they discontinued Blush because it was nice too.

5) Tom Ford's Black Orchid - guess what colour the packaging is?

6) Viktor & Rolf - either Flowerbomb (which looks very like Parisienne bottle) or the new, Eau Mega. You must check out the website because it is too cool for school! Harry Potter meets the library from Dr Who meets FASHUN!!!!

Someone decide. I just can't! My favourite perfume ever you cannot get at all - a limited edition one called Chrysalis by Lancome only for sale one season in 1998 - I think I may have dreamt it. I also wish Chanel would do a female version of L'Egoiste.

5 things I want

2009-11-11T22:26:00.004Z

That dog. That jacket. That hair. That bag. Those glasses.

If only ...

Today is Remembrance Day so show some respect!

2009-11-11T11:00:00.004Z

And remember those who have fallen so you can piss-about and fuck-up your lives in your own special way. It's called freedom from tyranny. Give thanks. Also my other late gran's birthday (born 11/11/11). She was witchy so I have to remember it or she'll haunt me.

GIANT FUCKING SCORPIONS & THAT!

2009-11-11T09:38:00.005Z

New trailer for Clash of the Titans - thanks to Empire for link. There are scorpions and big explosions and Buffy-style demons and Pete Postlethwaite as the new Burgess Meredith (he has a Homeresque face even if his 'look' is a little too Life of Brian. Does he have a gord we can follow?) and Liam Neeson looking like a Man-Aslan (Maslan) and Sam Worthington in sandals. Do I hear the word 'phwoar', mums?

Other cast members include Gemma Arterton (whom I like because she is awesome), the electric lady from Angel as Andromeda (improvement on the chick from Black Beauty) and Ralph Fiennes as a dark and sexy God of the Underworld. Yes - once again Hollywood has peeped into my mind and asked 'would would you like for Christmas, Sefi's mind? A hot demonic overlord? This time with a nose AND dressed in a chiton**?'. I think Fiennes gets dibsies on all these roles now. The only way it could get better is if Jason Isaacs turns up as Captain Von Trapp and sings Edelweiss. I don't think that will happen.

Anyway - yes ... erm. Titans. Clashing. I like the old movie. Any film that has Dame Flora Robson and classic British Horror actress, Freda Jackson threatening to eat handsome young men gets my vote. Considering the budget, it all looked pretty marvellous and was a regular Bank Holiday afternoon crowd pleaser. Whenever it was on, I always enjoyed it. ESPECIALLY the clockwork owl. Some people thought owl was dorky and pointless but I wanted that owl when I was a kid. I think it is the source of my owl fetish. *has epiphany*

It all makes sense now, doctor!

** archaeology link. You know I would never skip over one of them!

The perfect song to sing (in your underwear) when nobody is home is ...

2009-11-10T22:09:00.003Z

Elfman is the type of freaky weirdo I find very attractive. I also love the movie. And John Hughes (RIP). I never understood the 'wha wha' kid at the end. What does it mean? Think upon it when singing in your undies. Go on! Nobody's watching.

Random body part moan in the face of EV0l fashion

2009-11-10T10:47:00.004Z

I don't have good arms. I have (several) great other things (boasting aside - huhuh) but not arms. Several thousand years of Irish and Lancashire farmworker ancestry prevents me from having those weak skinny child arms you see on celebrities like Diane Kruger (dressed as Malibu Stacey left). She is lovely as a holly sprig covered in frost but christ - her arms are like twiglets! Eat some strudel, lady. Pacey won't mind. He is Canadian and they need you fatter to survive the winter!

I don't mind my lowers - it's the uppers that bother me. "Look at these ... my work strong arms!" says PJ Harvey. I hear you, Polly - we can go and muck out the dairy together. Can you do that super-skinny-arm-malinkies? Obviously not. Ha - in that way, you suck!

So when I see trends that YOU MUST ALL WEAR ONE SHOULDER DRESSES FOR XMAS (thanks Net A Porter) - I feel somewhat torn and admittedly, frightened. Can a lass with pale milkmaid arms wear one-shoulder in winter? I have decided to compromise and go for something like this (theoretically - I'm not gonna actually wear it cos I'm broke).

The other trend of torture is the capped sleeve. It stops at the most unflattering part of the body and your flesh peeps out from underneath. Like a fat boy with a bowl haircut. Horrific. But thanks fashion - thanks for being such a cuntybaws for bringing one-sleeve and cap-sleeve together in some kind of hideous tag team for Xmas. How will [random inaccessible male celebrity] love me now? I HAVE UPPER ARM FAT! Harvey Weinstein said that about Samantha Morton and she was really pissed at him. But I don't think Harvey can call anyone - he has fat everything. And Sam is the best actress of her generation. So ner! Even so - the fear, the fear ...

Self-pity aside - I did find this great website; Shopstyle.UK. You basically type in what you want 'red boots' or whatever and it tells you all the things you can buy like that! It's a Delphic oracle of shopping. You should try and outwit it. Fake fur pants. Orange knitted boots.

Neverwhere is available online!

2009-11-10T10:08:00.006Z

Yes - that is right. The BBC series of Neverwhere is available online here. I learned this during a conversation about Capaldi wearing a nightie. If that doesn't grab you, viewer - then you may as well give up. :) I also forgot how much Hunter looks like Sonique (remember her?). See photie.

I first read Neverwhere aged about 15 and it has stuck with me ever since. This is because - a)Neil Gaiman is one of my favourite writers and b) it is one of his best works because the concept is so original and superbly executed. Few get close to Our Neil when it comes to the latter. I even didn't mind when the market idea was ripped-off in Hellboy II. Screen adaptations of Gaiman are tricky territory. Stardust was okay but flawed and not a patch on the book. And although everyone liked De Niro, I found him hammy and tired. Pfeiffer was ace though - she often is.

Apparently, there are rumours of a screen adaption of American Gods. I don't think it is a very filmable book, personally. But if it happened, Stellan Skarsgård MUST PLAY MR WEDNESDAY. Same for Alan Tudyk as Low Key. Shame Eric Bana is too old for Shadow cos he is physically perfect. As I said though - it's too hard to film. Some books should remain as books. I keep saying this about Wuthering Heights but nobody listens.

Whenever I visit London and sojourn on the Tube, I always think of the novel. If I did it everyday, I still probably would - especially at certain stations like Hammersmith and Angel, Islington (the aforementioned nightie).

I want to read them all again now!

Forgotten Indie Bands - Angelica

2009-11-09T14:20:00.004Z

Britpop is a funny thing. It is a huge shame that excellent bands like Salad and Bis have been largely forgotten whilst gobshites like Startsailor continue to make records. But times can change - Menswe@r, for example, are generally acknowledged as being much better than we thought back then. I used to want to form a band in the style of Angelica but was hindered by a complete lack of any musical talent whatsoever. John Peel liked them and so did I, especially when at school. I haven't found any copies of their albums anywhere. I would like one. Please let me know if you know.

New Spooks - is this good or is this bad?

2009-11-09T10:49:00.004Z

I've been too busy with other shit and that to notice SPOOKS IS BACK. I do rather like it and this is why:

1. Ros is simply the most awesome sexxxor female character on TV. Hermione Norris used to just play bored middle-class housewives who drink secretly from a stash of Merlot in the ensuite toilet cistern. It was dull for her and for us. Then, she joined Spooks and ended up beating people up and shooting them and grabbing testicles and generally being a bad-ass. Same with Gemma Jones - the period costume drama mum reinvented as a black-hearted traitor. Hermione does all her ass-kicking and threatening with her whispery posh 'Galaxy Dove Bar' advert voice and cool-as-a-cucumber demeanour. She is like the television universe opposite of Malcolm Tucker in the manner of Iceman and Firestar. Ros won't here for long so let's appreciate her whilst we can. I can understand why she is leaving but it is a shit development and will make the show less good. But Spooks often brings people back if they aren't killed horribly. I'm still waiting for Tessa (Jenny Agutter) to come back. She was another good 'un.

2. Stupidity. Okay - the premises are preposterious and the plots full of big stigmatic holes like Padre Pio's hands. But it is fun! The real spies say "Oh real life isn't like that!" - no shit, real spies. It's like the Chinese Government complaining that a dragon would not have the voice of Eddie Murphy in reality. Spooks is a cartoon.

3. The directors know that Richard Armitage is man-candy and focus on this whenever they can. It's so obvious, it's funny! If Ros is the action figure, then new boy Lucas North (he even has a porny name) is the totty. He always stands at the back so we can see his full length physique and wears fitting clothes. Last series, he often took his shirt off for no apparent reason so viewers could observe the Russian prison tatts and bear witness to |Richard's hours in the gym. I assume the make-up lady needs to sleep now so we'll get less of the flesh this time. But they make up for it in other ways. Now we get close-ups of his swimming-pool-blue eyes and impish grin and Lucas furiously hitting on chicks for sexy spy reasons. We've had Bateman-Lucas and Eastern-Promises-Lucas so what else? Maybe they will dress him up as a gladiator or a 70s policeman or even, some kind of Medieval bondage inspired outfit complete with Bryan Ferry circa 1976 eyeliner. And he'll do the Sean Bean voice. It was the only reason anyone watched Robin Hood.

4. Malcolm - he is just a lovely, lovely man.

5. I enjoy seeing Paula Yates Spy getting traumatised. This is a very personal reason for watching the show. Jo, the irritating rubbish one, often gets beaten up and cries. My inner Draco Malfoy finds this very satisfying.

6. Harry is such a likeable twat. And in real life, powerful men in charge of things often are just that way. He also drinks whisky from a decanter under times of stress. Nobody on television does this anymore. Only Winston Churchill - whom Peter Firth is gradually morphing into BTW. Hard to imagine the boyish slip that was Angel Clare now.

7. In Spooks world, Russians are still mysterious and evil. They aren't just really fucking poor or modelling for Prada or buying football clubs, Russians in Spooks still want world domination. This gives the show a nice retro vibe. They even use an eerie musical balalaika motif whenever someone Russian comes onscreen, comrade. I much prefer this than the very real and faceless irrational fear created by generic Teh Islams. We have some of that of course but there is always a back story.

There are other things and I can't think of them now. Not sure how I feel about what has happened so far. Ruth, for example. Let's see how it plays out ...

Hello Again!

2009-11-09T10:22:00.002Z

Hello Bloggie. I've been away. But I'm back now. Look what I got you as a pressie! No - not the Shelley Long vehicle and 80s videoshop favourite (*points to title of this post*) but something else:

Not so small torc - haha!

2009-11-04T14:47:00.006Z

Check this out, archaeology fans! 4 gold torcs have been found in Stirlingshire of all places! This is hugely significant because a) the find is so northerly (most torcs in the UK found come from South and/or East England) and b) they are made from gold and c) they are so early! Most of the 3rd to 1st century BC torcs such as this one from Vix (one of my study subjects at grad school) come from Continental Europe, although some have been found in Ireland too. They are worth a lot of money - people talk about this. But I am more interested in how unparalleled they are in terms of finds.

A bronze torc with La Tene (a type of design which pinpoints date and regional influences named for a site near a Swiss lake) was found at Lochar Moss in Dumfries & Galloway in the Victorian era. But this was probably later in date. Goldworking in the mid to late Iron Age was a particular rare and exotic skill so it is truly amazing to find items of this value in a previously unheard area.

A Celtic torc for those who dunnae ken, is a neck (or sometimes arm) ring - usually with a gap and elaborate ends, worn at the front. Like the ones you see on Boudicca or in Asterix cartoons. To the pre-Roman tribes of the Iron Age, we assume it was a sign of Kingship and/or spiritual authority. Like Her Madge E II and the Anglicans (hawhaw), there was no real concept of secular goverment or monarchy. Sort of. Celtic gods used torcs (such as Cernunnos - as interpreted as the antlered figure on the Gundstrup Cauldron) and so did statues (whether depictions or as decoration), like the famous one on the Warrior of Hirschlanden or The Dying Gaul.

For those of you further interested in Celtic Iron Age Archaeology and society as well as myth and stories in general, check out the work of my favourite academic on the subject Bettina Arnold of University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee. Here is her lecture on Halloween (she even utilises Buffy!) and also, a discussion of the role of drinking! And also, the Heuneberg project working on the large and rich sites home to Celtic peoples of Iron Age Germany. She is one of few archaelogists to look into gender and when I look at her work last, was looking more into DNA studies (awesome!).

Whether these torcs in Stirlingshire link to the gold items found in places like Hochdorf or Reinheim or Snettisham is yet to be determined! The picture shows roundel terminus. That is perhaps unusual ... I am getting to technical! Sorry.

The perfect song to drive home during a mild November evening ...

2009-11-03T16:16:00.003Z

You can also see fellow Granada-land icon, Frank Sidebottom do his version with David Soul on some TV show (with the late Anthony H. Wilson, I recall). This will mean nothing to those who did not live in the North West during the 1980s and 1990s. I still have some badges from a performance by Timperley's finest some 18 years ago.

Shit. 18 years. I was young at the time.

Telly rambles - The Thick of It Pt 5; Episodes 1 & 2

2009-11-02T10:30:00.007Z

Episode 1 - great introductions. Lots of nice quotable lines. I love Nicola already. The tension between Terri and the New Minister is excellent. Nice seeing the character interaction refreshed by the introduction of a new dynamic. Plus, Malcolm gets to hit someone else over the head with his swear-baguette and we see how they react. However - this episode is dedicated to St Basil of Exposition. It is pretty fucking funny but the show has been scorchingly hot in the past. The plot has come along and as a result, it's more of a nice warm day then heatwave . And there is no Jamie - BOOOO!!!.

Episode 2 - Ah we are now over 30°C. Nicola is wonderfully played and Liz Lemon must be glad that someone else is taking the insult flack. Rebecca Front is spectacular. I also loved the interplay between characters - Glenn's crush on Robyn, insult tennis, everyone hiding from Malcolm ("leetle pigs!! Leetle pigs!!"), the interaction with the journalists. Superb. Joanna Scanlan is the best as doing quiet disgust. I totally forgot she was Tina, the evil restaurant manager in Spaced.

However - the premise of episode 2 bothered me because I didn't really understand some fings. They lost the immigration figures completely? Ollie's data stick was perhaps, like the last native Manx speaker, the only source possible and with it - all information gone? Or was it they just lost it and could get another copy and that? I didn't understand the panic other than it was lost and Malcolm would bollock them for it and they would get it from elsewhere. The data would be protected from publication because of DPA. Unless of course some people traffickers got hold of it and that would be bad. But even so ... troubling.

Also, every public body has a back-up server room - hot and stuffy like the engine room of a Lusitania - full of wires and pish. They keep everything for years. Anyone who has worked as a civil servant drone or in IT will tell you so. Plus, it is some wee techy's job to WATCH THEM ALL THE TIME. Yes I am being picky. It's not real but it wasn't superly plausible either. Or I am being a stupid.

And still NO JAMIE!

Halloween Pt 2 - the ghosts are gone ...

2009-11-01T12:29:00.005Z

I had a great one - a clubby dress-up night (my tribute to the late Andy Hallett - completely lost on the goth crowd of Edinbrrrgh) and then a super quite film watching. So been busy, sorry. Sometimes it is good to be off the grid.

The perfect song for a rainy November Sunday morning is ...

2009-11-01T12:27:00.002Z

No not G&R (lollz) or even All Saints but classic Courtney ...

Of ladies, owls and embroidery - Susanna Clarke

2009-10-28T15:47:00.004Z

I have time to promote my favourite things and bemoan my least favourite. Firstly, I include the work of Susanna Clarke. Secondly, that she does not produce enough writing. Apparently, she is working on a sequel to her main novel of note - Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. As it is nearly Hallowe'en, I feel it is fitting to speak upon Miss Clarke and her work.

If you haven't read her short stories The Ladies of Grace Adieu or Strange/Norrell (it is very long); then you won't know about Faerie, the magic world she created a wonderful grown-up realm of magic and history without a winsome Ferngully pixie or schoolchild in sight. In Faerie dwell many creatures - there are slave Kings, bewitched heiresses, men with hair like thistledown, slovenley faerie masters, lustful aristocrats and porcupine-faced midwives. Country roads lead off through enchanted woods filled with the sounds of strange music. Bloodthirsty hunters and warrior parades are mounted in squalid, ruined castles. Not even the King of England or the Queen of Scotland is immune to such powerful charms.

She writes in the style of classical English novels - particularly Austen and Dickens. Also, her books contain copious footnotes and this enhances the text entirely. And she loves Joss Whedon and Neil Gaiman too. How wonderful!

The Ladies of Grace Adieu title story refers to 3 ladies, gentile and unassuming by all accounts, but whose friendship leads to magic which rivals that of any (male) society magician like Norrell or Strange. Sort of like Emma meets the Witches of Eastwick. But these ladies manage full-well without any silly Darrell Van Horne figure to liven things up for them. And, as those who know me will testify, I am very fond of owls and owl imagery. This story includes one of my favourite owl literary motifs to rival Alan Garner's Owl Service.

More on Susanna's site here and also, the fansite The Friends of English Magic. Also, there is a film in the works and has been for some time. Right now, Mark Salisbury at Reel Matter has interviewed Julian Fellowes about working on the script here. I am not sure if the book is filmable - being long and complicated. And the casting needs to be precise. Seeing Julian Rhind-Tutt in Mark Gatiss's Crooked House (more on this later), I think he would make the perfect Jonathan Strange whilst up-and-coming actress Carey 'Sally Sparrow' Mulligan would make an excellent Miss Wintertowne. We will see what happens ...

Merry Christmas from Kate!

2009-10-28T11:47:00.006Z

New Xmas 09 collection (launched tomorrow) from Kate Moss looks sumptuous and exotic. Oriental prints meets classic rock chick meets 1940s lingerie and nightwear - with Kate looking like Bardot as Pallenberg. I think I like everything I've seen so far. Hilary Alexander writes about it here. And some excellent pictures from Aussie Grazia. How do you grow a money tree again?

Ares Rocket - or Άρης to be pedantic!

2009-10-27T16:04:00.011Z

Are you familiar with the Ares rocket programme? Yes NASA are launching an actual rocket again. X-I is a test and unmanned. How 1960s and retro like the Mercury 7. Shuttles are more 80s and Space Camp. Don't laugh at Space Camp - it was my favourite film when I was 10.

Will they play "Mars, the Bringer of War" from the Holst's The Planets? They always play that and this time, it will actually be appropriate. Launching is delayed for today, sadly. Countdown to follow at a later date. Stay tuned ... As for the title. I just wanted to see if Blogger translates other alphabets. It does.

Fillums - Fish Tank

2009-10-27T10:15:00.013Z

I went to see this at the Cameo t'other night. It is a refreshing and wonderful movie. I wish British film makers made more like this than the usual Four Weddings bollocks (not to diss Curtis, he is good at what he does but there should be more choice, shouldn't there?).

The reviews have been mostly positive - apart from this one, which I found snotty and condescending - and they are right. Katie Jarvis (who plays Mia, left) is astoundly good and honest and true and should win awards. The film is up for several British Independent Awards* and all deserved. Charlotte Gainsbourg must have been fucking superb (cutting-off her own hoo-har with a rusty knife or whatever) to beat Katie at Cannes.

People are always saying 'oh she has never acted before blahblah' - like it's a hindrance. It's not - it's a gift and the sort of raw talent can't be learn at drama school for 3 years. Mia could only be played by a newcomer like her as was the case with the dude from Sweet Sixteen, Martin Compston. And he went on to work professionally in all kinds of stuff. I hope Katie does the same as she captures an angry young woman in the ilk of Samantha Morton. The director Andrea Arnold (I remember her from Motormouth!) is often compared to Ken Loach – whom I like – but he can be a bit earnest and preachy at times for me. But I can see what they mean– this film follows in the spirit of Raining Stones, Riff Raff or Lynne Ramsey’s Ratcatcher. It just shows a story.

And the story is thus – Mia is 15 and lives on a shitty estate in Essex with a self-absorbed mum and mouthy wee sister (both excellently played – as are all the cast). The sort of maisonettes that make the middle-classes in nice areas go “ooo do people really live there?”. Yes they do dear, and in most every industrial town all over the land. She wanders around on her own looking for trouble – whether that is the local wee scrubbers (as Withnail would say) or the nearby travellers whose horse she alone appears to care for. She is young and angry and yet, sympathetic; mainly because despite her pretty thievery, brutality and selfishness, she is naïve and honest. Dancing is her only form of peace; she listens to hip hop and R&B and dreams away. BTW the use of music in the film, particularly Bobby Womack’s California Dreaming is sublime.

Then her pish-head mum (they are all pish-heads BTW) brings home Connor, a charming young Irish dude who is not at all afraid of Mia and her surly ways. In fact, he seems to like them. He has a leonine smile, twinkly eyes and likes to show off his formidable physique. Who wouldn’t be smitten? But he is the only strong masculine influence in her life and as a result, he gains her trust even though he isn’t what he seems. I agree with the Guardian, Michael Fassbender is not just “sex on a stick” – he is a whole lot more. He can be despicable and loving and sensual and cowardly in equal measure. I always knew he was talented and destined for greatness - even on Hex. Here, he proves it once again. *le sigh*

Other things I like about the film are the use of space (which sounds wanky but bear with me) – there are fields, marshes, housing estates and abandoned lots. People wander through them as part of the story. Yes - the houses and towns are industrial and grim but Arnold doesn’t portray the environments with that in mind. So patronising reviews about the location are not only stupid, but show a complete lack of understanding for the subject matter. It reminds me very much of the town I grew-up in (Royston Vasey) and how, when young, you search for beautiful places in less obvious locations. If you come from somewhere like that, it is how you see it. Raw is an overused word but I feel it applies in this instance.

* Fassbender versus Capaldi. Argh – talk about a Sophie’s Choice for me! But with Rockwell and Tom Hardy as Bronson, it's the strongest field I've seen in a long time.

PPS - I am having immense trouble editing this because I wrote it first in Word. Sorry for any errors and spellingz and that shit.

Under The Dome - hide and seek!

2009-10-26T15:45:00.003Z

Interesting new promo take on Stephen King's new book - Under The Dome. Readers are invited to hide snippets for people to find. I have one - but where can I put it? :)

American Vampire - Stephen King's first comic!

2009-10-26T15:03:00.005Z

The Daily Beast is fast becoming my favourite online news source - not just because the name is taken from a Waugh classic. Mainly - because they talk about stuff like this - Stephen King and Scott Snyder's collaborate on American Vampires. It looks pretty spectacular and amazingly, King's first ever comic. Being a big fan of SK, I am very much looking forward to it. Scott Snyder I don't know much about but sounds like a match made in heaven. This idea of Deadwood-meets-vampires is pretty fantastic and not at all disimilar to ideas I had a while back (albeit much better executed). The character Skinner Sweet (great name) looks like an ev0l Old West version of Kid Rock (hehe) whilst 1920s starlet Pearl reminds me of something from Carnivale. The amazing artwork is by Rafael Albuquerque (another fab monniker). More from Newsarama here.

The Thick of It - part 4 (my thoughts will follow after these messages)

2009-10-25T22:33:00.003Z

I won't being reviewing the show till the end of the series. I'm sure you can't wait (5 people who read this blog). There are only so many people - Google Analytics is your friend. :)

Edit - i can't wait so I'll do 3.1 & 3.2 it next Sunday or so. I have no patience.

Beasties Remastered!

2009-10-25T22:27:00.002Z

They've done up all their old albums, you know. I will be getting myself a souped-up version of Ill Communication (mah favourite) soon enough. But for now, you can enjoy them on Youtube.

Also - second get-well shout out to MCA. Mr Yauch was diagnosed with cancer this summer but apparently it is treatable and was doing well last I heard. Hope it continues, man. I truly do.

GET WELL SOON, MOZZER!

2009-10-25T18:59:00.002Z

Not much else to say. I hope you are okay, sir!

Great Live Performance - Cocteau Twins

2009-10-25T18:07:00.003Z

From Jools in 1994, Falkirk's finest perform one of my favourite tracks - Summerhead from Four Calendar Cafe. Liz Fraser using her unique 'speaking in tongues' (fancy word 'glossolalia' - nothing to do with the Peak District!) style of singing to great effect too. A great playlist too (thanks to the person on Youtube):

This is what the selkies in the Firth of Forth sing like, apparently.

The Thick of It Pt 3 - "thank your fucky stars"

2009-10-23T14:14:00.004+01:00

New promo - spectacularly promising and funny and smart. Rebecca is already my favourite comedy heroine since Sue White and she hasn't had to do much yet. And some brilliant stuff from Joanna Scanlan also - another fabulous and underated comic actress. We have some good ones in the UK - don't we? Up there with any from "30 Rock". Better I'd say. And yes - Malcolm's 'bollocking face' set to Defcon 1. Hehe. I like it.

If you don't watch the show now, please go and watch some kind of "2 and a Half Men" type bollocking pish with Charlie Sheen being all benign and not pushing over his pregnant wife, calling her a bad racist word and threatening to take her out. Remember that Charlie? Crikey - how things change with a sitcom success. Or maybe you could, I dunno, jump down a well. Or both. Pearls to swine ... this show is wasted on you.

Oh and a puzzling article by Michael White in the Guardian. The fact he doesn't know what happened to Chris Langham is kind of telling. And to say the show lacks 'heart' (meaning pat-happy sentimentality) is one thing - but there is tons of emotion but done subtle, like. It isn't "The Royal". For evidence? See the "Inclusion is an illusion" plotline from the first series and almost all scenes involving the character of Glenn. James Smith says it all without doing much. It's called naturalism.

Yes - I am lavish with praise but IT'S FUCKING GOOD!

"So you don't confuse them with mountains"

2009-10-23T01:12:00.007+01:00

I always liked Shakira - her interesting use of English-language phrasing and shaky hips. What's not to like? So instead of going to a nightclub off-her-face on Oxycontin (poor Lindsay, will someone not intervene? Mel Gibson? Anyone?) - Shakira goes to a highly-rated college to study ancient civilisations. The She-Wolf is a history nerd!! My respect went up about 300 kelvins.

Yes - respect is measured in kelvins.

Twisted Firestarter

2009-10-22T12:30:00.004+01:00

She really shouldn't look so happy. Picture thanks to Nono.

Spare Millions? Objects of Desire Pt 2

2009-10-21T15:02:00.003+01:00

Too much money? Bless. Why not buy yourself a Venetian Palazzo? Or an genuine Roman agate? A Lalique thistle necklace? Whilst tomorrow is last call on this stinking huge emerald ring. I dunno who buys this kind of stuff. Any ideas?

Dollhouse - Part 3. It does get better.

2009-10-21T10:54:00.003+01:00

Yes - letting Joss do his own thing is a good idea, stupid Fox Studio types. Why you always think you know better? Mainly just good story arcs and funnies. Topher and De Witt on drugs is hilarious. More of this type of thing will keep me going for sure.

Funny that Victor dude is Albanian (American) - like Dushku. He certainly looks it. All we need is a Belushi and you got a Shqipëria hat-trick.

Samhain - Part 1 ... The Gathering!

2009-10-20T09:51:00.010+01:00

*Puts on Professor hat*

Hu-hummm. I have studied Celtic Civilisation and History along with Archaeology and I am quite militant about the accuracy and guff that surrounds the topic. Usually not from Irish or British people - the world of the romantic novelist has taken over that of the sídhe. The former certainly know more than a thing or too about their own heritage. But the sentimentality is inevitable I s'pose and to be fair, the mystery and images are very potent. And the stories are prone to being kind aturgid so it's hard not to get all 'Mists of Avalon' about things. But in the run-up to Samhain (sah-wain, pronouciation fans) - I shall be revisiting the stories of the ancient tales (Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Gaulish, Breton, Cornish and Brigantian - as much as I can - one cannot show a Goidelic bias even if stuff from the Brythonic languages is less available).

After all - the time of Samhain was about many things including storytelling, remembering your roots and avoiding the wrath of vengeful ghosties. Sort of like the Roman feast of Lemuria but without the bean-throwing. Yes - at Samhain the world of the dead and the world of the living where thought to become entangled. Such tales are contained in the 4 cycles of Irish Mythology - Mythological, Ulster, Fenian and Historical. A possible "window on the Iron Age" according to the sage on this literature and editor of the pictured book "A Celtic Miscellany", Kenneth H. Jackson. Within these tales you learn about all kinds of characters and activities; crazy drunk warriors, doom-obsessed druids, naughty Queens, much cow stealing, magic pigs that cannot be counted, talking salmon, silver hazelnuts and burial mounds that lead to the Golden Army. Okay - sorry - the latter was Hellboy II.

Key events happened at Samhain - predictions, prophecies, omens, strange visitors. Or dreams - which brings me to the famous story of Aengus (or Oengus as it is sometimes called). A dashing figure in chestnut coloured boots, was sort of like the Eros of the ancient Celtic world. He was the son of the cauldron-and-club-wielding Dagda and Boann (the Goddess of the Boyne, whose name means 'white cow' - lordy, they loved their cattle!). Apparently he was followed around by tweeting wee Woodstock birdies because of his loveliness and used to woo the ladies with his harp - la-la-la. The women around him often ended up turning into animals - butterflies or swans. One story being The Dream of Oengus - set at Samhain. Alexander McCall Smith wrote a modern version called Dream Angus and it's pretty good.

Seeing as my maternal grandparent's families all came from within the borders of the Uí Maine and I am descended from those actual O'Kellys; my MtDNA is pretty exclusive hence old family pictures feature many people who slightly look like Stephen Mangan - even the women. And not always in a good way! And before you think I'm being all 'Plastic Paddy', us Lancastrian half-breeds (me, Morrissey, Peter Kay, The Gallaghers, Anthony Burgess, Anna Friel and several thousands of other UK passport holders) have created our own hybrid culture of Semi-Skimmed Celt and I am entitled to pick and choose both sides of each depending on my mood. Salford's finest even wrote a song about it so ner!

Thanks to a nice lady called Mary Jones - all the original stories as well as many other resources are available online here. Also, many of the stories were studied and re-interpreted by Yeats and Lady Gregory - both excellent places to start if to want to read more.

PS - sorry about the Wiki-overload. It is annoying but sometimes, the only way! :)

Bwunhilda, I love you!

2009-10-19T22:44:00.002+01:00

When discussing possible Hallowe'en costumes with Miss McClennan t'other day - I suggested Brunhilda Bugs Bunny. She said it was too obscure. I was appalled because "What's Opera, Doc?" is the finest Looney Toon ever made. Not enough children's cartoons make Wagnerian jokes today. I blame Hitler. He ruined Wagner for everyone. None embed link here.

What's Opera, Doc? - Funny video clips are a click away

While away the hours ... V&A collections

2009-10-19T14:16:00.006+01:00

Whilst doing a quick Wiki-surf (Schubert to Barry Lyndon to Marisa Berenson to Elsa Schiaparelli to Jean Cocteau - funny how these lines develop, huh?) - I came across the V&A Collections website. So much stuff to see and do. A batwing design vase by Gallé or a rare design by an 18th century female artist, Anna Maria Garthwaite or wonderful photography like street scenes of Victorian London.

The Schiaparelli clothing is so unbelievably modern looking - even though she didn't make anything much past 1945. For example, a skeleton dress from the Circus Collection (pictured, c/o V&A). Alexander McQueen would do this now! Pretty amazing for those interested in historical costumes and textiles (my archaeology area of study).

The V&A is true menagerie worthy of Emperor Rudolph II (himself) - who is, incidently, one of the historical figures I am fascinated with. More on him later ... no doubt. Finally, the V&A is holding an appeal for the new Medieval and Renaissance Gallery to hold such treasures. Sounds pretty amazing and I cannot wait to see them all so give generously!

Gypsy Creams by Ribbit - like Tweed by Lentheric but funnier!

2009-10-19T13:42:00.004+01:00

Please check out the fabulous website of Notbbc's lovely Ribbit, Gypsy Creams. Some of the adverts she finds and scans are wonderful. Others just remind us that advertising has always been a bit dodgy. You can spend a day puzzling why the ad-men (mad men) picked such a dreadful image in the first place.

Does anyone know where I can get a copy of ...

2009-10-18T22:26:00.005+01:00

a strange and obscure movie I saw years ago - directed by Polish exile to France, Walerian Borowczyk - called 'Blanche' (1971). I bet few people have actually seen it never mind heard of it. The director went on to direct some absolutely ridiculous 'erotica' but this film is nothing like crazy shite like 'La Bete'. It's an oddbod movie set in the middle ages and has the most astounding look in terms of art direction and costumes. The music uses period instruments and is most unusual too. I found this old article at the Guardian about the movie. Along with The Name of the Rose, Excalibur and a few others (that movie with Colin Firth about the pig) - this would be one of my favourite Middle Ages films.

So if anyone knows about where to get a copy - let me know. Or if you have seen it at all.

The best 80s nostalgia song/video to sing to and take the pish out of at the same time is ...

2009-10-18T22:01:00.007+01:00

Big hair. Mullet and moustache combo. Crappy looking verandas. Interpretation of lyrics through gestures. Dodgy singing - usually a 'sing-off' situation (I blame Bowie and Jagger for that lark). Harley Davidson with NO HELMET. Slo-mo walking. Video set in a studio with lots of 'Cue the Music' close-ups of switches and knobs (lolz). Video with random glamorous activities like posing on a balcony or on a jetty, whilst wearing white lycra and big earrings. This is the 80s I remember. TV movies with Melissa Gilbert and Mark Harmon. The introduction of coloured breakfast cereal. Anne Diamond's jumpers.

Oh Calvin Harris! Write about this kind of stuff - I dare you!

The perfect song to clean the bathroom is ...

2009-10-18T21:47:00.005+01:00

... Phanta by Le Tigre. The beat helps to scrub away both soap scum and mildew. I could only find one version and it involved lots of cat pictures. Look it up yourself.

Alternately, you can pick mostly anything offa Le Tigre by Le Tigre. Not much on Youtube although I did find this nice little homemade movie about a Spanish lady who lost her metrocard! And this movie version of Deceptacon - just as good as the real video.

Reproduced from youtube. Sorry.

Bite me!

2009-10-18T20:58:00.009+01:00

Amazing news here. Man get's bitten by shark. That is because it's A FUCKING SHARK! Man gets nibbled by guinea pig - less catchy. Although you wouldn't find them in a sealife centre. A crab? No - some of those twats are scary. A mackerel? The only way this could be more obvious would be the use of the word 'toddler'. A more emotive age-associated word has yet to be created in the English language. "Toddler Menaced by Killer Mackerel!". Quite.

I've been to Deep Sea World in North Queensferry. It is actually quite a nice place to spend the day with kids. They have some cool flat fish. And then I read this:

"Initial reports would indicate the male member of staff received cuts to his hand after apparently being bitten by an angel shark - a native shark species which is also known as a monkfish."

Less terrifying, then. Maybe it was a squashed shark I saw after all. And the bloke is alright now. Probably just very sore - but at home watching X-Factor probably. Shark bites are preferable to those stupid puppet twins.

The Thick of it - Pt 2 Another Preview!

2009-10-18T14:41:00.002+01:00

Second preview - nuff said. More Rebecca. "Woman with a computer and some pens". Lovely print dress.

Weegiano Goodness.

2009-10-18T14:22:00.010+01:00

Things seem much busy in The Thick of It land this week. I think I arrived too early. Nae mind. So far we have an interview with Peter Capaldi (himself) in which he describes his alter ego as "an evil clown". And from Thursday (thanks to Kate) a top 10 hits of Malcolm Tucker. articles in the Guardian.

Aussi, today Armando shares his favourite comedy films with some interesting choices. Preston Sturges to Riff Raff (Ken Loach's ace film about construction workers which showed you how to fiddle the gas and had Ricky Tomlinson in the bath) - some gems to watch if you haven't seen already.

PS - what's a 'Weegiano'? A Glasgow Italian. I think I just made that up. Ooops. My Scottish Italian friend will hit me on the head with a large brown peasant loaf from Valvona if I've been offensive. And those things cost about £4.

Science meets Dollhouse meets Flies?

2009-10-16T15:40:00.005+01:00

I wonder if Dollhouse can become a reality? Except this would be Flyhouse - no, not some co-ed TV series about hilarious rappers in an Ivy League college with the Wayans brothers where the white people are all stuffy and shit. No. A house of flies with modified minds via the use of "brains lazers".

Blazers.

Okay there is no Dress-Up-Dushku but at least they won't ask - "Did I fall asleep?" about 20 million times. Personally, very galling to a (mild) narcoleptic like myself.

Good vibrations?

2009-10-16T15:11:00.011+01:00

I'll tell you something - I am a bit of a science geek. Yes, underneath my arch froideur (hehe) lies 'Historical Fact Girl'. Well - huh - I like facts and learning and things what are true and that. And trained in Archaeology. So ner.

One particular area of interest is earthquakes. Call me odd, but books and documentaries and other media about earthquakes fascinate me. This site has got to be one of the best - it details all the current tectonic activity as well as existing info of interest. Proper qualified people call it Seismology. As a topic of learning, it is pretty awesome. Volcanology and Geology are also cool - see this dude and this and also, Dentdale's finest (he got evolution a bit wrong, oopsie). I actually know one or two people who do the latter for a living. How lucky indeed?

Archaeology focuses on people and adaption to environments, which I suppose I like more than pure Earth Sciences. You can see how people have always modified or changed their way of life to fit around things like earthquakes, land movements and other natural formation processes. My Uzbek friend told me about a colossal earthquake that almost destroyed Tashkent in 1966 but was covered up by the USSR for ages - so yeah, seismic politics. Places like the Eastern Mediterranean and elsewhere (such as Port Royal, Jamaica) show that Underwater Archaeology is also about submerged settlements as it is about shipwrecks. So there is a link somewhere (ramble ramble)...

I will post some more fact sites soon ...

Because the first 3 episodes are really good, will the rest suck?

2009-10-16T00:48:00.007+01:00

This is my worry about FlashForward. As with a lot of shows - they can start off promising and then just dwindle into the plot doldrums. See Heroes - loved the first season and then gradually lost interest. Many fans left disappointed. Althought the opposite happened with Lost, which had a very slow start. If you stuck with it till Benjamin Linus, you usually stay the course - and have no regrets. I digress ....

But so far I really like FlashForward. It has a great cast (Shakespeare Fiennes, Harold, Miles from This Life, Mr Angela Bassett, Penny from Lost and the spectacular Zoe from Firefly) and the premise is unfolding nicely. The acting is a bit posteuring and formulaic at times but so much is about exposition at this early stage. I don't mind at all. I think Brannon Braga (24, ST: Voyager) and the bloke who wrote Batman Begins and Blade II/Trinity - David S Goyer are pretty masterful at set-ups and creating atmosphere.

However - shows like this (with long plot arcs) need to have a mixture of planning ahead but not jumping the gun in case the show gets cancelled and we are left going 'wah?' (as with Carnivale set up for 6 seasons but only got 2). I'd rather that than 'we don't know where to go with this now - erm, ideas? Anyone? Bueller?' (see X-Files). Lost has done the long-term planning very well and naturally Exhibit A is Buffy.

Can I mention any more TV shows? Can I?

The perfect song for a dark yet mild October night is ...

2009-10-14T20:53:00.003+01:00

Yes - 80s nostalgia and the reason why Christoph Waltz will always be my second favourite Austrian. And why Aviators will always, repeat, always be cool to me. Fuck you, Tom Cruise!

Did you hear the Herr Lipp moment? Did you, precious? I miss Falco.